Ax Man; Egg Explosion; Rooftop Trespass; Excitable Redhead; Fugitive Horses; Honk if You Love Whiskey

Polic Reports from The Flathead:

2:16 a.m. A man was seen walking down Shady Lane with an axe over his shoulder.

8:14 a.m. A resident on Rhodes Draw reported that someone stole the “No Trespassing” signs off his property. Suspiciously, the footprints lead directly to his neighbor’s house.

9:20 a.m. A home intrusion alarm was set off when some overcooked eggs “exploded” on the stove top.

12:33 p.m. A resident on Rose Crossing called in with complaints regarding the neighbor’s dog. However, she was unable to recall what the dog looked like or where it lived.

3:02 p.m. Two teenage boys were seen creeping around the rooftop of an Evergreen School. Apparently, they lost their baseball. They were told to get down.

5:00 p.m. A woman on Shadow Loop reported that someone in a suspicious van was circling her neighborhood.

5:16 p.m. A man claimed that an excitable redhead in a BMW threatened him bodily harm and chased him down a dead end road in the Whitefish area

6:29 p.m. Four fugitive horses were seen running along Highway 2 East.

6:37 p.m. Reportedly, an woman who was parked in Martin City had been honking her horn for the past 30 minutes and sipping on a whiskey bottle